Friendship

DIY or DIT?

A friend of mine was emotionally wounded in a bad break-up. So much so that this friend retreated from all associated connections to the relationship and retreated deeply inward. I understood. Self-protection. Sometimes a person just needs space to sort things out without distraction or reminders of the past. As we’ve started to reconnect, I sense there is still a lot of hurt that hasn’t been dealt with. I am eager to be a part of my friend’s healing journey moving forward, but am not a trained therapist. I suggested this friend reach out to a confidential and neutral third-party if they hadn’t already. I was surprised, and yet not surprised, when the friend confirmed they hadn’t yet done so.

Then the thought occurred to me that the DIY (Do-It-Yourself) mode of thinking is really pervasive in our culture. The internet has made it so easy to explore different ideas, read “how-to” articles, and view YouTube instructional videos. We have unprecedented access to medical information online and can self-diagnose. For some ailments I don’t even think you have to see a doctor face to face. The Rx can be mailed to your home!

We can have private therapy sessions by Googling articles, reading other people’s blogs or Facebook posts and comments. Of course, we also have Pinterest which is the mother of all DIY websites. There is literally no reason anyone ever has to ask someone else for help. Everything we want to know can be found online. My concern is this: Certainly everything we may want to know can be found online and in the comfort and privacy of our own home. We can clear our browsing history and remain anonymous in our search for help. Great. However, what the internet can’t give us is the real human to human connection we still so desperately need to be mentally well.

There is tremendous power in stepping out from the shadows and speaking your truth out loud. We are ALL imperfect beings in need of grace. If anyone happens to stumble upon this blog and is struggling with sadness, anxiety, depression, secrets, or hurts…and you haven’t reached out to someone…please consider doing so. Don’t buy into the DIY notion that you can or should be able to fix everything yourself. We need each other! Likewise, if you are someone who stumbles across this blog and are not struggling with anything in particular, but sense someone is… please consider being the person who reaches out. In person. Share abundant grace. No judgment. Imagine the connection and healthy community we could build if we operated more as a DIT (Do-It-Together) culture.

Peace,

A. Lockhart

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